Christmas Eve, Eve

Christmas Eve, Eve. I cant believe we are so close to Christmas. It really doesn't feel like it at all. My house has been decorated since the week of Thanksgiving, my tree has been up and I put Christmas lights outside (which was no small task. I had no idea where to find an extension cord and believe it or not, I had no idea where to plug them in) yet it doesn't feel like Christmas. I am trying so hard to get into the holiday spirit. I have made cookies and fudge, I have wrapped presents, I have attended Christmas concerts and a Christmas play, and I have consistently reminded myself what I am thankful for and what Christmas is truly about. Yet it still doesn't feel like Christmas. My husband tells me I need to be happy and enjoy the time with our family. I am happy, I will enjoy the time with our family but it still (so far) doesn't feel like Christmas. I don't want the holiday to blow by like a 50 mile an hour wind gust. I have to do my best to make this Christmas as normal as possible for our girls. Yet, things are not normal. Their daddy, for the first time ever, will not be here Christmas morning. I know that Christmas isn't about presents and food and socializing. I know what Christmas is about, I really do, maybe that's why this is so hard for me. I want to celebrate Gods gift to the world with the gift God gave me specifically, my husband.